About Javier
My Mission
I’m here to pass on the tools I’ve learnt and integrated by coaching individuals in the realms of self-awareness, conscious co-parenting and men’s work.
My specialty are guided “inner-safaris” that explore the subconscious mind dismantling limiting beliefs and subsequently create transcendental changes when relating to self and others from a place of true freedom.
My superpower is to listen with profound interest.
The Work
“The core of my work takes place in the intersection of both emotional and psychological landscapes. I’ll guide you there and back safely”
Our thoughts are filtered by our inner dialogue. This shapes our feelings, emotions and actions and the way we interact with our environment. I safely invite people to become the observer of their past/current reality to finally create the awareness that all suffering is a result of the stories we once told ourselves. From this new plateau of self responsibility, my clients become conscious designers of their own reality.
My Story
The early days:
As the youngest of 3 brothers, I grew up in a family of 5. My childhood and adolescence took place in two combined worlds. One was my city lifestyle where I went to a rather strict private French school, and the other offered a free ranged alternative at my family’s rural property that to this day, contains some of my best memories.
Being an introvert kid, Monday to Friday in a school uniform following instructions whilst surrounded by 30 kids wasn’t necessarily my personal preference. Being grateful as I am for the education my parents gifted me and all the different tools I gain from those years, now that I look back, it was really my weekends and holidays in the countryside that gave me the space and freedom to be myself, so I could come back to school and play a game I never really understood or signed up for.
Mom and dad both loved nature and horses, a trait that I would inherit naturally from as far back as I can recall. My mother is an extraordinary woman. Adventurer and traveler from a young age. Widely educated in the realms of philosophy, theology and history just to mention a few topics. She modelled strong values and a sense devotion to family and friendships as well as a deep connection to the land and her ancestors.
My father was an intellectual, generous and highly intelligent man. Being a lawyer for almost 50 years, he demonstrated what a life dedicated to service and ongoing study means. To me, his legacy is the love and appreciation for art and culture, particularly music as a form of therapy. Even though he had a heart of gold, his high-stress job brought some of his shadows in the form of anger.
As a highly sensitive kid and because of his eruptive personality, I perceived my environment as unsafe. And in order to “survive” I developed a very acute radar to observe and listen to people’s behavior, so I could predict and protect my self from potential danger.
This ability to “read” people would become one of my greatest gifts. I got really curious about why we do what we do as human beings. And without realizing at the time, I was forging the very skills that would eventually allow me to connect and lead people for the following two decades.
The Hero’s Journey
The call to adventure:
At 20 years of age and after trying a couple of years of engineering at university, I felt an unstoppable force that wanted me to be outdoors as much as possible. So I switched instead to an ecotourism degree that led me to study and work as an adventure guide, introducing me to what I would do for the next 15 years. Firstly in the Andes mountains of South America, to then move to New Zealand where I did most of my guiding and from where I’ve travelled internationally to explore the world. encountering people from multiple cultures and countless walks of life.
This lifestyle allowed me to work with (literally) thousands of people from all over the world. Nature became my office, and it’s in the wilderness where I got to witness and study human behavior first hand. This time around not as the shy/scared little boy, but as an eager young man.
I loved the feeling of deep transformation that took place in mountains, desserts, rivers and canyons and the opportunity for people to connect with self in the face of challenge. I witnessed a real sense of empowerment coming from transcending fear through courage in some of the most remote and breathtaking landscapes.
The more I saw this happen before my eyes, the more I realized it wasn’t only about the activities, the gear or the cool photos. It was something much deeper than that.
A real milestone on my journey, was when I was introduced to yoga 10 years into my adventure guiding career after a back injury. This practice would change my life forever, as it almost immediately became a center piece of my daily life.
The ordeal:
It wasn’t until I had a major work accident, that I woke up from the illusion I had been living for 3 decades as a spiritually dormant man. From this, I developed severe mental illness due to undiagnosed and untreated PTSD. This led me to loose my mind to the point I couldn’t even recognize my closest people. I had entered a level of fear and darkness that words cannot describe.
Then a miracle happened, the arrival of an unexpected gift. My partner at the time and I conceived a human being. I still remember the tears of joy and thinking to my self, “now I have a strong reason to come from wondering lost in my mind with a traumatized nervous system back into awareness and sanity”.
My daughter Luna was born 9 months after that. This pivotal moment in our lives, demanded all of our energy and resources to welcome and raise our beautiful girl into the world.
Being away from our home country and families made navigating this journey as new parents even more challenging, on top of our previously fractured romantic relationship, that ended up in us separating. This was like another death on top of my previous unaddressed mental health crisis. And as if that wasn’t enough and only months later, I was receiving the call confirming my father’s passing after battling with cancer.
All of these events seemed like a lot, yet they’ve been perfectly orchestrated as part of the karma of my soul’s evolution.
The practice of yoga was my firm ally particularly during the toughest times. I even remember passing out on my yoga mat, as I rode through my inner inferno for months at a local hot yoga studio in Auckland, NZ.
Soon enough I found myself immersed in the study of mind, body and soul through eastern philosophy and western psychology, to eventually become a certified instructor allowing me to teach yoga for 5 consecutive years.
Father/Dad:
I always liked the idea of having a family. Many of us men conceive children and become fathers, some take it a step further and become dads.
The day my daughter was born was the day I learned my heart could exist outside of myself. It’s one of the main reasons a man’s sense of purpose can expand beyond his solo mission into selflessness, devotion, responsibility, commitment and unconditional love. Bringing a human being into this world feeling safe and loved is one of the greatest forms of legacy.
From day one, I realized that it was more than just being a protector and provider. It’s been my presence, care and consistency, particularly in her early years, what helped me create a strong bond with my daughter.
Knowing that she’ll learn from what I embody as a human being, more then what I can say or teach to her, puts me in a position of leadership where I can often feel both the honor and the weight of it.
I’m currently 13 years old in my role as a dad, and the love and teachings grow exponentially as I journey with her through life. I try not to be so hard on either of us by creating space for the imperfections that makes us humans.
I love my daughter Luna beyond measure, and I regularly let her know, through both words and action.
Initiation into Manhood:
Generally speaking we live in a fatherless society, where absent fathers and the lack of elders feels like “the blind leading the blind”. Of course there are many examples of men and fathers embodying the qualities of being healthy, mature and integrated masculine individuals. This is remarkable even during these present times, where so many of us men can spend most of our life working away from home or simply not being present.
Mothers, biological or not, can be exceptional caregivers and role models, nevertheless, they can’t really teach a boy how to be a man.
It was a moment of loss and confusion that led me to sign up for a men’s retreat at the very last minute, not knowing it would become the first of some of the most powerful experiences I’ve had in the presence of other men, who held and assisted me on my healing journey from darkness to light. For the first time I was able to consciously connect with the energies of anger, joy, shame, sadness and fear. Letting my “wild man” fully express himself as I was able to explore my wounds and shadows as well as my gifts with support and loving accountability.
Life’s never been the same after crossing through that threshold. It feels like a different level of responsibility and it brought me back to my center. The most profound shift was replacing the question ”What can I get” for “How can I serve”. It was time to become the Loving Savage Servant life truly wanted from me.
Over the last few years I’ve facilitated men’s circles, retreats and rites of passage in person and online, through the lens of the fundamental masculine archetypes. And I continue to do this work as part of my own growth and most importantly, as an opportunity to give back to society motivated by a deep love for men and humanity.
Returning “home”:
The depths I traversed through my own self-discovery, gave me access to a deeper understanding of the human and spiritual components that makes us so complex and wonderful at the same time.
As a result of our separation, my co-parenting journey has been one of the toughest, beautiful, humbling, empowering and transformational experiences in my life. It has taught to be self-responsible, avoid victim mentality, practice acceptance, unconditional love, compassion, selflessness, communication skills and boundaries. It has also provided opportunities to give and receive love in new romantic relationships. And probably most importantly, enough self-awareness to recognize when I’m being either an example or a warning to my daughter and those around me.
The experiential wisdom that has and continues to emerge, inspired me to offer multiple talks and workshops where I share my journey. Providing other parents with not only tools, but a real down to earth example on how to navigate the complex waters of uncoupled co-parenting, a reality in the life of millions of people across the world.
“I have met many coaches & therapists (while being one myself) and Javier is the only person I trust guiding my healing process and liberation”
- Alja Berk, Slovenia.